explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
