If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
