Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
True college students do jello shots in the library
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
