There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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