Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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