trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
