you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Help. Why am I so naked?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
