There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
