just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
