What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
