if you like me you must not know who I am
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
