Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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