don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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