Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
