I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize