just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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