I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You dont lie about slip and slides
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
