and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
