I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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