why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
