Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
