That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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