Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
