Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
