Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
