if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
