This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
