put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm eating all of the evidence.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
