Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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