Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
