so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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