How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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