What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
