Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
