So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
