dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
