My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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