I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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