operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
