I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
