she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
