quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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