My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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