Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
