I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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