we have pet lesbian snakes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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