super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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