I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
