3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My vagina just clenched in fear
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
