Only a mothe r could love this liver
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
