oh god the rape fog is back!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
