Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
