Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
