Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
