Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
