she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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