My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
