There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
