Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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