It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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