Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
