im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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